u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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