i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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