brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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