the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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