I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
