We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
