I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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