I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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