ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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