Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
