you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
