How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
