You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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