i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
