So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's always time for handjobs
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize