Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
