69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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