I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
