Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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