Just cropdusted the office
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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