Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
