ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
