As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
