remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently you make a good broom.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
