Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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