trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
