You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
