I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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