Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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