How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My nipple is on Facebook.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
