Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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