I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
