you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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