Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
