My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have already put on my inside pants.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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