too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
