The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
