still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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