It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize