Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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