I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
