How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
