Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize