Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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