I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
