i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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