i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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