First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it was like eating out sand paper
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
