$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
