We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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