I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
