I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
