"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
