Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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