Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
