My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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