Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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