i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
