i jhust puked up my retainher.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
