didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
