Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
