Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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