We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
